On any other occasion, I would have taken this opportunity to share how much climbing means to me, and how it changed my life, writing a jolly article listing all the positives of the sport. Don’t get me wrong, climbing did change my life, and in a fundamental way. But with the horrifying events unfolding in the world, and with the death of a dear friend earlier this year, I found myself re-assessing what truly matters. Many things started to feel less and less important. While this might sound a bit depressing, I’m writing this with a smile. This period simply allowed me to zoom out on my climbing journey. Realizing the insignificance of certain things doesn't necessarily mean it’s something negative. It actually feels like new meanings can emerge from all of these events.
These reflections are similar to those that pulled me towards climbing in the first place. Ever since we entered school, we learned to have goals: succeeding in our exams, entering a good university, finding a good job. And then, it was about ‘climbing’ up the social and the career ladders, with many projects to be ‘sent’.
Each chapter of my life felt like it was rushing me to the next. And many of these projects didn’t even mean much to me. It almost felt like I was sleep-walking the whole time. Climbing felt like a step away from all that. Yet, without realizing, I might have brought parts of these ladders with me into my climbing journey. I often see people doing the same. We are constantly striving for the next grade, to accomplish our training goals, or to send our projects. We unnecessarily start carrying heavy weights on our shoulders. I’m not saying it is wrong to have goals, or not to be happy about our achievements. It certainly does bring important motivation, but when we mentally dwell on them for too long, we lose the joy of the very moment. And we forget the reason why we chose this activity in the first place.
What’s different about climbing, and what keeps it so refreshing, is that it takes us so intensely into the moment that the desire for achievement is forgotten. When we are really in action, it is not the desire to achieve goals that takes us up the walls. It’s more like an unknown force; an inner drive. And we remember about the achievement, about ‘success vs. failure’, only when we are back on the ground.
Falling on the last moves of a project has made up for some of the most beautiful moments in my climbing journey. The intensity of the fight and being so close. It even felt better than the moment I actually completed it. Some moments allowed me to understand fear better; others taught me how to get more comfortable with uncertainty.
Sometimes, it was a deep gratitude to be able to even climb in the first place. Contemplating the uniqueness of each hold, and the different texture of each type of rock. Remembering a sequence of movement, each time becoming more and more detailed. The fluidity of movement when we have all the moves dialed; when we climb with no pressure, and the mental space-out that comes from exhaustion, after giving everything we have on a route. Climbing gives us a huge array of emotions to explore, each one somewhat in isolation. And it’s easily possible to relate things we learn on the rock to other areas of our lives. To me, this constant exploration is the real goal. And the deeper we understand ourselves through this, the more meaningful our climbing journey becomes.
With this article, I hope I can encourage the inner aspect of the sport, and not only fiery motivation to achieve goals. I hope we can give some freedom as to what climbing can mean to us, and to allow that meaning to change, to develop, and not to be afraid of dropping concepts along the way. And to constantly remember, that everything can slip away in one moment.